It’s been a month.
I’ve been here a month.
In some ways it feels like it flew by while in other ways it’s felt like it has dragged on in one long day after another. I am thankful that the Lord in His infinite wisdom did not reveal to me in advance what it would be like this first month because frankly, it’s been tough. I’m glad this isn’t the end of the story though.
I hit a low point about a week ago. Yet another thing had messed up to add to the large pile of complications I was already dealing with, and I was exhausted and upset. I felt like I was at the end of my rope of what I could handle which is precisely when God seems to work. Verses began coming to my mind reminding me that it is He who is in control, it is He who makes my way perfect (not me), it is He who sustains me and gives me strength. I realized how prone to complaining I have been. True, it’s a tough schedule to have at the university, but He gave me those 200+ kids to teach. He has a purpose. I feel inadequate, and well I should, but I have to trust that He will give me the strength and fortitude to make it through each day. As I look to Him to give me strength, what seems impossible becomes possible.
Gradually, little things are starting to work out. I have a bank account open which is a big relief. Getting paid and having a debit card are still in the works, but I’m just thankful to have an account finally open. Some paperwork I’d sent back to the U.S. to release funds for a scholarship I’ve been granted did arrive and is being processed. I didn’t hear that it had arrived, so I was biting my nails a little worrying if I’d made a mistake in addressing the envelope. I finally figured out the confusing copy request form only to then be shown how to submit my copy requests online. Hopefully, because of this extra guidance there won’t be a repeat of Tuesday’s copy disaster. I also officially signed up for a class to take while I’m here. The whole registration process here is its own learning experience. There are still plenty of other things that have yet to work out that I do beg prayers for, but at least there seems to be some small amount of progress made. This definitely helps my peace of mind! I’m also so much more thankful for things I took for granted back in the States.
The last couple of days have gone very well. I’m starting to feel more relaxed, less tense, and more accustomed to life here. I’ve had to realize that the first time doing anything is never easy, thus I have to stop being such a perfectionist. Thank the Lord, I’m starting to find my way! I’m feeling less homesick and less sad as the days go by. I still sigh for home when I look at the buses and trains coming and going each day and if I dream of hugging someone at home. The way I look at it though, I may never pass this way again. My dear ones will be there when I get home, Lord willing. Life will return to the crazy grad school life it normally is at Purdue, and this will all be a memory. How will I spend this time? Moaning for home or cheerfully doing the best I can to do the work He has given me to do while I’m here?
I have a little over nine months left.
Do you realize how fast that will go by? Faster than I can even imagine, I’m sure. In some ways I hope it goes by quickly, but I hope I have time to savor each moment and grow. Oh, Lord, help me grow! Write my story!