Waiting

Have you ever noticed how life is so full of those times of waiting…

For example, probably how long you’ve waited for me to actually post again. 

Now, I don’t picture myself as the person staring off into the distance with a sigh and a tear. If you’re doing that (unless you’re standing on the edge of a beautiful landscape wonder in Ireland), please stop.

Let me introduce and elaborate on the elephant in the room before I proceed…

This elephant is more commonly known as that ever-present idea, state of being, and well, the cause of plenty of elbow jabs, “why aren’t you married yet” comments, and so on and so forth that are common for someone who finds themselves single. This is the elephant…

I have found in my short experience of this rather interesting state that there are different categories of singles.

We’re none of us exactly alike!

I will introduce about five very general categories.

Category 1: The “Busy-bee”

This is the person that can be either male or female who has about ten irons in the fire at all times. The irons change, but the number does not. They’re either in school, in a career, or just plain busy. These are generally the planners too. Here’s what the answer to the typical question might sound like:

Curious Person: So is there any possibility of a spouse in the future for you?

Busy Bee: Well, sure, but I’m thinking I’m going to do __________ , receive a promotion/degree in ______, and then continue my work with _________. Maybe within the next _____ years,…etc…

Category 2: The “Insert-Groom/Bride-Here Planner”

This is the person generally found among the female variety who has had the wedding planned since they were probably about six years old. The plans have just changed a little and grown over the years. If asked the typical question, they will elaborate often nearly poetically (or maybe not so poetically) about this future spouse:

Curious Person: So is there any possibility of a spouse in the future for you?

Insert-Groom/Bride Planner: Yes, there definitely is! He/She will be of beautiful/handsome countenance. He/She will wear a black tuxedo/white full wedding gown and write his/her own vows at our wedding. He/She will always be kind and gentle. She will be obedient to me OR He will be oh-so romantic and  my hero….blah, blah, blah…

Category 3: The “Timid One”

This category is a little more difficult to deal with. This category usually is based on personality as well as a person’s past history. Often people are just timid when it comes to those of the opposite gender. Sometimes they have been hurt deeply before by a relationship and are afraid of being hurt again. Conversations about relationships usually end in awkward silence or a change of topic. Whatever the case, relationships and thoughts of relationships are just hard. This is how the typical question goes with them:

Curious Person: So is there any possibility of a spouse in the future for you?

Timid One: Ummm…*gulp* well, I guess. I’d really rather not talk about it. Have you been to the movies lately?

Category 4: The “Seeker”

This category is the person who is forever seeking relationships. They typically have had a boyfriend/girlfriend since kindergarten. This is the one who will tell you of the latest girlfriend/boyfriend and be shocked when you’re a little behind on who they’re with at that time. Their status on Facebook in this area usually changes frequently as well. They generally move through relationships rather quickly which is often just frankly sad, but they don’t seem on the outside to be too affected by it. So, this is how the typical question goes:

Curious Person: So is there any possibility of a spouse in the future for you?

Seeker: Yeah, probably. I was thinking it might have been so-and-so three relationships ago, but I found out that they weren’t so interested. So, then, I thought maybe it was so-and-so. Not to mention my high school sweetheart who said blah, blah, blah. Of course, it could always be so-and-so….etc…

Category 5: The “Nun/Monk”

This person is similar to the timid one but in another way. They generally just say that they’re really not interested in that time of life just yet and just, frankly, haven’t found anyone. They’re not mean about it or anti-social. They’re just calm and collected. Some extremes of this category will say that they’re literally waiting for the right one to  “fall in their lap” so to speak. They’re usually busy with their own lives. When asked the typical question it comes out a little like this:

Curious Person: So is there any possibility of a spouse in the future for you?

“Nun/Monk”: Well, not really looking right now. Think I’m happy with my life and well, they’re just doesn’t seem to be anyone that I’m truly interested in right now. I’m actually working on a project with so-and-so doing research on…

I’m a good smattering of about three of the categories. I find that everyone I run into who is single seems to handle it a little differently which is understandable since we’re all different.

Waiting as a single can just be difficult sometimes. However, it has to be put into perspective as well.

I think one of the causes of so many broken marriages today is that people become impatient and marry out of fear that they’ll never marry if they don’t marry this guy or girl who seems like they might just fit the part.

Waiting is tough. It calls for more patience and for more of a will of iron. It means that you continue to wait and to trust even when you see those younger than you and those you grew up with get married. It means that you don’t rush in on impulse because you’re tired. I know not everyone is a believer unfortunately, but I serve a great and good God who cares for me. I have confidence in knowing that my waiting is not in vain.

I do often get weak and well, rather whiny in my waiting. However, that’s the other reason that God is good. He deals with my whining very quickly and shows me that it is better to trust Him then to rush ahead in impatience.

It is better to wait on Him in obedience than to just wait to prove that you can wait though. This is no contest. This is simply something between the Lord and you. It is often when we are waiting that He teaches us the most as His children. If He gave us everything we wanted right when we wanted, we wouldn’t appreciate it or Him nearly as much.

So, cheer up, my friend. Waiting is worth it. My categories of singles was really more of just a general outlook. We all are different in how we handle waiting and how we look at life. However, only one way is right. This way goes beyond personality, it is the way of trusting on God.

 
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